Monday, August 6, 2012

A guitar is not a fashion accessory

Perhaps someone can enlighten me. But recently I've experienced more "acoustic guitar as fashion accessory" incidents. And I find this troubling. You know what I mean: acoustic guitars, often festooned with punk band stickers, slung ever-so-nonchalantly and carelessly over shoulders. I hear them played sometimes, but usually a guitar is just a super-cool backpack. That doesn't carry anything.

What am I supposed to think? That you're cool? Are you trying to impress ME? Well. I suppose not. But even a 16-year-old girl (your intended audience?) can't be THAT impressed.

Why does this bother me so much? Because I've spent a lot of time learning how to play. And I have a lot of friends that can play the shit out of the guitar.

Is it just envy? That you and your acoustic guitar over your back can get any sort of attention? Eh. Maybe. Maybe I need to think on this. All I can say for sure is that whenever I see you walking around with a guitar on your back (Did YOU pay for that guitar, kid? Jesus, I'd NEVER let a precious piece of property dangle like that!), I just think two things: 1) Can you play that thing?, and 2) Just carry it around in a case. Asshole.


  1. "The guitar is a super cool backpack, it carries not objects but carries the potential for beautiful works of music. Like, Lonely Road by Green Day, or Drops of Jupiter by Train. It's important to have that!

    Dude, like, dude. Of course I can play this thing. I just can't right now because I have a flare up of tendinitis from practicing so hard with my band, we're called Black Darkness, we're a 30 Seconds to Mars cover band. We have a big following, but yeah, it is mostly 16 year old girls. (but there's more 16 girls that like our music over your gay free-jazz)

    I mean, yeah, like, dude, it probably is pretty dangerous, but I got like 11 guitars at home. If this one bites the dust, I'll just play my other ibanez acoustic. Or maybe my Seagull... I actually own every acoustic guitar that comes in black. You cant imagine how many of those there are! I'd use the case but I let my room mate borrow it to smuggle a bunch of beer into our Dry-Dorm."

    love, Mark

    1. I wanted to cook up a clever reply to this. Nope. You nailed it.

      Love, Robert